- A woman claimed her best friend recently got “my full first, middle and last name” tattooed on her wrist
- The woman, who detailed her experience on Reddit, said she would have told the friend “absolutely not” had she been asked about the decision in advance
- She is now considering ending the friendship “because it just feels disrespectful”
A woman has claimed that her best friend recently got “my full name” tattooed on her arm as a “birthday surprise” — and she’s not happy about it.
The woman detailed her experience on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——,” a place where people can go to seek advice about interpersonal dilemmas. In her post, the original poster (OP) explained that her “best friend of about 7 or 8 years” got her name “tattooed in a very large font on their wrist as a surprise for my birthday without asking my permission.”
“I mean my full first, middle and last name. It’s absolutely massive and bold,” she continued.
The OP added that she found the decision “so shocking” that she ultimately called the friend several hours later “to tell them that it absolutely has to go and I am not okay with it.”
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While the woman said that she knows her friend’s “intentions were pure,” she also highlighted that she feels as though this could be a friendship dealbreaker “because it just feels disrespectful.”
“If they had asked me about this I would have told them absolutely not,’ she added.
“It doesn’t help that we ran into each other at Walmart when I was with my boyfriend, and we were both shown at the same time. He obviously doesn’t like it either,” she continued.
The OP ultimately wondered if she’s the “a——” for demanding that the friend remove the tattoo, adding, “It’s just so jarring to see my name like that.”
The vast majority of commenters said that they don’t think the Redditor is in the wrong for feeling uncomfortable with the friend’s gesture — but also noted that they don’t know if there’s realistically much she can do about it.
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“NTA [not the a——] but this is tricky,” said one person. “You’re not at all the a—— for not liking the tattoo and they’re certainly the a—— for getting it as a surprise, but unfortunately, since it’s their body, I don’t know that you can demand they remove it. You can certainly request it and end the friendship either way, but ultimately it’s up to them which (horrifying) tattoos to keep.”
“You know this person better than any of us,” added another person. “If your gut is telling you to bail on the friendship, I think you should listen to that instinct. OTOH [on the other hand], if you really do think it’s just “’this was a sweet gesture that was a bit wild for how intense it was,’ I think you should consider how close you are to the friend. If you are truly tight and steady with this friendship, it might be worth letting the tat go.”
Someone else said, “Sounds like your friend is in love with you. You can’t control what they do but you can control your reaction – if you feel truly uncomfortable with their behavior, you stop hanging out with them. What they decide to do with the tattoo is up to them.”