Bride’s Grandmother Offers to Help Pay for Wedding — but She Won’t Be Invited

• A bride-to-be shared a post on Reddit revealing that her grandmother has offered to help pay for her wedding but she doesn’t plan to invite her to the event
• The bride detailed how she has a difficult relationship with her grandmother and thinks the money is “just an excuse to control me”
• The Redditor asked readers for advice on how to go about telling her grandmother that she won’t be accepting her money or inviting her to the wedding

A bride says her grandmother has offered to help pay for her upcoming wedding, but she has no intention of even inviting her.

In a recent post on Reddit’s “Wedding Drama” forum, the bride detailed her dilemma, explaining how she has a difficult relationship with her grandmother. “I don’t like my grandma. She’s passive-aggressive, impulsive and has been a pain to the whole family since before I was born,” she wrote.

She went on to share that her grandmother hasn’t seen any of her other grandchildren get married “either because she wasn’t invited or because she chose not to go.”

But it seems the grandmother is taking a different approach now that it’s the OP (original poster)’s turn to walk down the aisle. “I’m her last grandkid to get married and a bride so she’s really trying to cling to me,” she wrote.

“I have many reasons why I don’t like her and don’t want her at my wedding,” she continued, noting, “My fiancé and parents support this.”

The OP said that in addition to offering to contribute to the costs of the wedding, her grandmother wants to go dress shopping with her and help pay for her dress. She also wants to be with the OP on her wedding day when she is getting ready.

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“I don’t want any of this. Just thinking about it sucks all the joy out of those experiences for me,” the OP wrote. “I can see it in my mind how it would all pan out. She’d be constantly trampling over my boundaries.”

She even went so far as to say she believes her grandmother’s offer to contribute money is “just an excuse to control me.”

Now, the OP is struggling with the prospect of having to tell her grandmother that she not only declines her offer to pay for the wedding but also won’t be extending her an invite.

Seeking advice, she asked fellow Redditors, “What’s the best way for me to go about this? Should I just text her and let my parents deal with the fallout? Do I wait until she actually tries to give me a check?”

She also noted, “I get that some people would just take the money and put up with her, but she literally ruins every day that I see her.”

In the comments, many readers suggested that the OP simply be direct and honest with her grandmother, as uncomfortable as the conversation might be.

“I’d just say, ‘Thank you, but no, we have it handled, and I wouldn’t feel right about taking money from someone that I’m not inviting to my wedding,’ ” one person wrote.

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Another advised: “It might be best if you put it into a letter. That way you have the option to change and clarify things after you review it. I would definitely include the fact that you are an adult and have the right to make this decision and that this choice is based on your history and HER behavior.”

Quite a few commenters encouraged the OP to lean on her parents for support.

“It sounds like your parents are on board with not inviting her. Let them know when you’re gonna break it to grandma, and then text her firmly. Hopefully your parents will back you up,” a reader wrote.